psychosis

I'm becoming bitter. I hate myself because i guess a small part of me still cares for him. But i know i shouldnt after all the pains and tears he cost my family.

I hate him for being unable to be a provider. I hate him for being unable to be someone you can rely on. I hate him for being abusive. I hate him for being selfish. I hate him for being a terrible person. But deep inside, I hate him because I hate myself for unable to accept him as who he is.

I'm scared that I would be just like him. Even at my age, I'm scared that maybe I might become like him. Someone who is a two-timer, a leech, a wormtail.