Desperate Now

By: stabbing westward

I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
You’d think by now that I’d be over this
Instead I’m feeling sorry for myself
So why does everything seem desperate now
I should be feeling so alive
But it feels like something’s missing
Something’s wrong somehow
It feels like something deep inside has died
So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now
I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
But promises mean nothing to me anymore
Circling the drain
Spiraling to hell
So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now


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I tried not to think about this. I tried not to realize how wrong everthing is. But damn, why cant I just be like others who doesnt get affected that much. Does he have another woman, another family. Does he owe a big amount of money that he ends up stealing from us? I tried to think how he was before, but I cant even remember a time when I became proud of him. Is something wrong with me that I cant just accept him as who is he? I'm sorry to say, that I am ashamed of him. I'm ashamed of myself because I lost all respect for him.

It hurts so much. Wish I can be cold-hearted and care for none. But it affects me in some ways. It affects me on how I decide on things. It affects me on how I see the world. Maybe I'm the one who is wrong, I'm the one who is not worthy and not him.

I'm desperate... I just want to escape from all of these. But how can I. He is half of the equation that gave life to me.