today's mood

Ok. I'm whining today.

I'm depress now coz of this thought, how come I feel no guy can love me for just being me. Am I that unlovable. I can really love a person, giving it all. But, it seems not enough . . .

Damn, I feel like crying...

Isn't it ironic

Here is a funny situation.I was bored on sunday doing nothing. So I decided to try something new for a change. I went to city lifestyle in timog for a swedish massage. For a long time, I had wanted to try it but never had a chance to do so.

1. First time to try a swedish massage. Damn it was good.

2. I only got the 1 hour package because I just wanted to try it out. Nakakabitin. I wished I added a few more for a 2 hours massage.

3. After the massage, I took the elevator to go down. Take note, the womens massage room is on the 5th floor, so you really need to take the elevator. I pressed the ground floor button and waited for it to go down. But alas, it seems that the elevator is not working.

Me: Oh my god, this is not happening to me.
* tries the open button.
Me: Shit it wont work
* hits button 2, 3, 4, 5 and open button.
* hits the phone button.
Me: Damn thing wont work pa rin.
* hits the alarm button.
Me: Ok, I can hear the alarm sounding but there is no one coming out here. So i knock on the door saying, hello? anyone there. Ala pa rin.
* hits the alarm button again. ( i cant remember how many times)
Finally, i heard something scraping the metal door and alas a maintenance guy was able to open it.
Me: Manong, lalabas nalang muna ako habang aayusin nyo.
Manong: Ay wag na po miss, sandali lang to.
* opens the small box under the buttons and hit a switch. Then hit the ground floor button again
* elevator opens finally.
Me: Manong, bat ganun elevator nyo. di gumagana
Manong: Ah, normal lang yun, nangyayari talaga yun na naghahang yung elevator namin. Lalo na kung sabay sabay tinatawag sa lahat na floor.
Me: Wow, naghahang pala lagi yung elevator nya. Grabe naman to.

So there we go, its so ironic, that i went to the spa to get a relaxing hour or 2 but then I end up getting stuck in the elevator. Consolation, atleast the lights didnt go off. If it did, I will be panicking like hell.

*Will go to other spa's which the massage area is in the ground floor. With my luck, I might get stuck in the shower room.

shopaholic

Ok... so now i'm into shoes. Was suppose to buy black sandals to replace my old ones but damn, there is this hot brown sandals that I just got to have. What more the price is just right, not that expensive. So, here I go buying the brown sandals and going back to the office without the black sandals that I was looking for in the first place.

Oh well, shopping is really fun. ^-^

Been reading through my journal about my dream. Damn, thats way to depressing. You, might think I'm fickle minded but now I'm glad that he's gone. LoL. Sigh, my mantra for the day ... GET ON WITH LIFE!!! ^o^

We do have good times, but then there are also a lot of bad times. But thats how the cookie crumbled.

Obsession? ^o^

We won 2nd place out of 10 teams. Yipee. I suck during the other games just ranging for 80-106. But i did 2 great games, scoring 123 and 131.

Just felt like bragging. ^^

By the way, I found pictures of viktor krum. Damn, aint he wonderful ... sigh ...

Info about him ...

... i think the picture says everything .. LOL

Here are some more pics I found in the internet ...

saturday ....

Wow. I've been using this blog kinda often nowadays. I find it therapeutic. =)
Anyways, its 11:25am now and I'm just passing time til I need to get out of the house and go to megamall.

Today, my company is having its first bowling tournament. Kinda excited about it already. Wish, my team can win first prize but if we cant then that will be alright. Atleast we will be having a blast.

Anyways, I'm feeling blah today, hope I will be better a bit later.

Oh yeah. Watch Harry Potter last night. Grabe, Victor Krum is so WOW. Kinda wishing I was in Hermione's shoes. Well, she's not that bad looking either. LOL. BTW, tip lang, look out for the pervy ghost. ^^;;

confused . . .

there are times ...
i miss having a shoulder to cry on.
i miss having someone to hug.
i miss having someone to kiss.
i miss having someone to love.

i miss the jealousy
i miss the fights.
i miss the after fights.
i miss just him.

i've been lying to myself
convincing myself i'm over him
maybe i am
maybe i'm not
but at days like this i just miss him.
my first love.


How did this confusion came to be? I dreamt of him the other night. I was sitting on his lap and he was holding me tight. My feeling during that time was that I was happy just being there with him. Then after a while, there where outside forces trying to pull me away from him but i held onto him as he held onto me, never letting me go.

Come to think of it, it has been 4 months already. I dont think about him that much anymore, but every now and then I feel sad that we are no longer together.

I hope he is happy.
I hope that I can be truly happy for him.
I hope that I can be happy for myself too.

Dreams? I yearn to find a man who I can share my life with. To find a man, who I wont be afraid of, who wont be afraid of me but will respect me and be faithful to me as I will be to him. I thought I found the right one, but things change and it wasnt meant to be. For now, I will go on with my life, try to find myself, my wants, my interest, my individuality, my purpose.

Fears? I fear being alone, growing old alone, no one to share my life with.

Time heals all wounds, but when the wound is deep, the scar is still there to be seen.

Stress free Sunday ???

Its been a long time since I've gone out with just my girlfriends. Now I know why I dont do it often. Its so expensive. Kidding aside, the expense is worth the experience of hanging out with the barkada. Sunday was as eye opener, going shopping, pampering of self, good food, good company. What more can you ask for. ^o^ Too bad we didn't have time for a massage.

Also that sunday happens to be the first of getting your eyebrows threaded on. Admittedly its not fun. Its pure torture. Dont think I will be doing that again. But atleast now i know the true meaning of no pain no glory. ^o^ I'll just stick to letting my bushy eyebrows grow bushier. Damn.. i can still feel the pain. sigh... @_@

Wishing there are more sundays like that.

So why am I talking about sunday and not my satuday? ... I think I visited hell that saturday. =P